New Recruits
by Soul Reaver
Summary: It begins with another act for the GI Joe Talent show, introducing eight new recruits to the GI Joe team...Up next, rescuing two babysitters who encountered the Triplets...
1. Beach Head Reeks

Beach Head Reeks  
  
Disclaimer: I own none of the GI Joe characters, except for my original characters, the singers Freddy and Ferdy Fox (based off the mischievous duo from Rupert), their CO Flight Lieutenant Rupert, and Ravnos, their sergeant. This is a way to introduce some new characters I made up. Red Witch, mind if I use these guys as additional bodyguards for the Misfits?  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"The next act for the GI Joe talent show comes from the new recruits Freddy and Ferdy Fox." General Hawk said.  
  
A pair of twins, two British SAS recruits with a fairly large mischief streak strode out on stage. They were red haired, blue eyed lads with an air of mischief about them.  
  
"This is dedicated to our resident Ranger, Beach Head." Freddy spoke.  
  
"Without further ado." Ferdy replied.  
  
They started singing to the tune of My Country Tis of Thee..  
  
"This base is full of trees!" Freddy sang.  
  
"There needs to be a stronger breeze." Ferdy sang.  
  
"Because Beach Head smells like a rotted beef carcass.." Freddy replied.  
  
"WHAT!!!!????" Beach Head shouted.  
  
"It's true, you know." Shipwreck replied.  
  
"And we have to clean up after him." Ferdy continued.  
  
"And he sleeps with a teddy bear." Freddy replied.  
  
"He proudly wears women's clothing." Ferdy added.  
  
"And searing sand blows up his skirt.." Freddy continued.  
  
Already several Joes were toppled over in the aisle laughing hysterically as several Joes tried to forcibly restrain Beach Head, keeping him away from the stage.  
  
"And the flies, they soar overhead." Freddy chirped.  
  
"And poisonous snakes die by the hundred." Ferdy replied.  
  
"And their bones shall bleach in the sun." Freddy replied.  
  
"And we will probably go to hell." Ferdy added, as Beach Head inexorably advanced, despite Sergeant Slaughter, Stormshadow, Quick Kick, Duke, and Flint trying to hold him down.  
  
"And that is our great reward.." Freddy replied.  
  
"For being trained by, our resident Sergeant Heartless.." Ferdy finished.  
  
Suddenly the pair linked arms and started can can dancing off the stage, "La la la la la la la! La la la la la la! La la la la la la la la HEY!"  
  
Flight Lieutenant Rupert, the leader of the new recruits, of which there were eight such men turned towards Ravnos, their leading sergeant. "Please tell me they warned you about this." The Royal Air Force officer asked the South African Special Forces officer.  
  
"No they didn't sir." Ravnos replied bluntly.  
  
"Is it just me or do these new recruits get stranger and stranger every year?" Hawk asked no one in particular as Beach Head chased Freddy and Ferdy around the stage with a sledge hammer. 


	2. Meet the Misfits

Meet the Misfits  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the former Brotherhood boys, GI Joe or the Misfits. Many thanks for Red Witch's encouragement. I don't own the Men In Tights Lyrics either. A little more random insanity that cropped up after watching Mallrats (yet another character borrowing).  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"Kids," Roadblock began, "We're getting eight new helpers for you guys. Hopefully they don't start dropping like flies.  
  
There was a thirty-ish Englishman in his early thirties in a khaki flight suit with the RAF insignia on it and another fellow in the desert camouflage of the South African army in the truck with them.  
  
"Rupert, Ravnos, meet the Misfits. Hopefully they don't cause you too many fits." Roadblock said as he drove the Misfits and the two new adults back to the house, "The other six just moved in."  
  
"Hopefully they last in this insanity." Low Light grumbled.  
  
"Those kids sure are a handful, hopefully they can handle them." Cover Girl added.  
  
Lance led the group out to the back yard only to find the strangest sight to ever greet his eyes. "Please tell me this isn't our backup." He said incredulously to Cover Girl.  
  
Standing before him were two red haired twins, a fellow in a heavy metal getup, a fellow in a Zorro getup with a guitar strapped across his back, a skinny blond haired kid in a skater's rig and a fat, bearded guy with a black leather trench coat.  
  
"Hit it dudes." Said the blonde haired guy, codenamed Jay.  
  
"We're men, we're men in tights. We roam around the forest looking for fights. We're men, we're men in tights. We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that's right! We may look like sissies, but watch what you say or else we'll put out your lights!" the six guys sang.  
  
They all did a punch into the air where the trench coat clad fellow, codenamed Silent Bob accidentally punched the Zorro clad fellow, nicknamed El Cabong in the face.  
  
"We're men, we're men in tights, Always on guard defending the people's rights." They continued as El Cabong cracked his nose back into place.  
  
Suddenly the six of them linked arms and started doing a can can number singing,"La la la la la la la la la la la la la!"  
  
"We're men, MANLY men, we're men in tights. Yeah! We roam around the forest looking for fights. We're men, we're men in tights. We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that's right!" They continued.  
  
"I hope we don't ever need back up." Wanda commented.  
  
"Quicksilver, we may have found people tackier than you." Lance quipped.  
  
"DIE!" Pietro shouted and tackled Lance.  
  
"We may look like pansies, but don't get us wrong or else we'll put out your lights. We're men, we're men in tights (TIGHT tights), Always on guard defending the people's rights. When you're in a fix just call for the men in tights!" They finished with a flourish with Silent Bob accidentally crashing into a tree.  
  
"Oh God." Rupert groaned.  
  
"Never leave those blokes alone sir, eh?" Ravnos grinned, with a hearty laugh following.  
  
"These are our support troops." Roadblock groaned, "Why did they give us such a bunch of kooks."  
  
"They're a lot more capable than you think, Roadblock." Ravnos said, "We've been fighting COBRA on our own, without any help for nearly three years until GI Joe recruited the seven of us and they assigned Rupert to be our CO."  
  
"Please tell me that those guys are the insane blokes in the house." Rupert groaned.  
  
"AWK! SOS! Save Our Souls! Insane Trinity on the loose! AWK!" Polly came flying around the house, clinging to Shipwreck's shoulder.  
  
"Come back birdie, we're not going to use a thousand volts this time." Trinity shouted.  
  
"Yeah, we're only gonna use 500." Daria quipped.  
  
"AWK! Save me! Save me!" Polly flapped about erratically and clung to the ceiling.  
  
Bazooka was standing in the middle of the floor in about four inches of water. "DAD! You had BAZOOKA babysit the babies?" Althea shouted.  
  
"He was the only one brave enough to volunteer." Shipwreck replied.  
  
"BAAK!" Barney squawked and hit Bazooka on the head repeatedly with his whiffle bat.  
  
"Baga! Wheee!" Claudius said as he kept splashing Alpine with water.  
  
"Bazooka, you idiot! Why did you put play dough in the drain?" Alpine shouted.  
  
"Hey I wasn't the one who didn't turn off the water before unscrewing the pipes!" Bazooka shouted.  
  
"Is the house always like this?" Rupert asked.  
  
"I'm afraid so." Roadblock said, "Welcome to your new base."  
  
"Why do I get the feeling those six blokes you brought along are gonna get along just fine with these people?" Rupert asked Ravnos.  
  
"No idea sir." Ravnos replied. 


	3. Diaper Disaster

Diaper Disaster  
  
Disclaimer: "Toad get yer ass back here with my disclaimer.." -SR  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
The new guys had to help the Misfits clean up the house while the adults were heading over for yet another meeting with Hawk together with Ravnos and Rupert. Wanda found herself working beside the guy with the heavy metal getup, "Where did you guys come from?" Wanda asked.  
  
"All over the place. My codename's Orpheus by the way."  
  
"What's your real name?" Wanda asked.  
  
"Tom Banes, New York City."  
  
"Wanda Maximoff, Bayville."  
  
"No kidding," Tom replied, he was the youngest of the entire group at seventeen, with a black AC/DC t-shirt, brown cargo trousers and an olive drab cargo vest, "That's not that far from where I grew up."  
  
"You're so young, how did you wind up in the army?" Wanda asked.  
  
"We're a freelance group, essentially mercenaries. We've been fighting COBRA on our own for nearly three years, since Ravnos rescued me from a COBRA laboratory." Tom replied.  
  
Wanda said, "I can empathize with you, my father locked me in a mental ward when I was nine."  
  
"Why? You seem like a nice girl to me." Tom replied.  
  
"Nice? Nice and my sister do not go together!" Pietro said, "So you're a mutant huh, what are your powers?"  
  
Tom pointed to a half broken dish and it shattered with a high frequency sound wave. "Cool!" Pietro said, when he saw Wanda powering up he said, "Uh Oh! Gotta run!"  
  
"Come back here and get clobbered!" Wanda shouted and started chasing Quicksilver with hex bolts and a few more heavy objects.  
  
"Touchy isn't she?" Tom said to no one in particular.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Where did you come from? Where are you?" Tom asked.  
  
"Right in front of you." Xi said and materialized.  
  
"So you came from a COBRA lab as well?" Xi said.  
  
"Actually they took me out of an orphanage shortly after my powers manifested." Tom said, for someone who just saw Xi for the first time, he was calm.  
  
Xi touched his hair and Tom was about to pull back, "I won't harm you." Xi said.  
  
"What are you doing?" Tom asked.  
  
"This is how I determine who and what you are." Xi replied.  
  
"Fire away." Tom replied.  
  
"You can control sound waves as well as fire sonic blasts." Xi said.  
  
"Uh oh. I hate to break this conversation up but we've got trouble brewing." Lance added, walking down the stairs.  
  
"Awk! Run for your lives! Run for your lives! Awk!" Polly came flapping out of the babies room. Freddy and Ferdy, the two red haired British soldiers were trying to handle Claudius and Barney.  
  
"BAA!" Barney shouted and whacked Freddy on the head with his whiffle bat.  
  
"I told you the kid doesn't like other people touching his bat." Blob said, poking his head inside.  
  
Claudius was making a fine mess with the baby powder as Ferdy was chasing him around the room trying to catch him. "I'll help, somebody's gotta put some sanity back in this place." El Cabong said.  
  
"NO! NO! NO!" Freddy and Ferdy shouted, "You'll traumatize those poor babies for LIFE!"  
  
"You amigos just don't appreciate talent do you?" said El Cabong, he was a white kid from Texas with an affected Spanish accent. He pulled his guitar from off his back.  
  
"Put that guitar away!" Freddy shouted, pointing a hair dryer at El Cabong.  
  
"Don't force me to use this!!!" Ferdy echoed, holding Barney who held his little whiffle bat.  
  
"Kids love music, maybe this will put them down for their nap." El Cabong replied.  
  
"No, don't let him play that guitar!" Ferdy shouted.  
  
"AAAGGGHH!!!!" Freddy shouted, "EVAC! EVAC!"  
  
"You boys just don't appreciate talent." El Cabong said as he sat the babies down on a little floor mat as Freddy and Ferdy ran screaming out of the babies' room and jumped out of the nearest window.  
  
"Well, let me sing you kids a song with my trusty cabong-er" El Cabong replied.  
  
"Oh God no!" Tom replied as he walked up the stairs, "Get as far away as possible. This will scar you for LIFE!"  
  
El Cabong ignored them and started to sing to the tune of When You Wish Upon A Star with his badly out of tune guitar, his trusty cabong-er, playing, "When you wish upon a side of beef. I will come and take away your grief, but if you've been mean or kinda bad, I will knock out all your teeth."  
  
"Do I hear an encore?" El Cabong asked.  
  
Instantly both Claudius and Barney threw a tantrum, "NO! NO! NO!"  
  
"NO!" Barney shouted and whacked El Cabong in the right leg with his whiffle bat.  
  
"NO NO NO!" Claudius shouted and whacked El Cabong's other leg with his flipper. Barney climbed up El Cabong's legs and whacked him in the head with his whiffle bat.  
  
Both babies came crawling out of the room. "Oh no!" Tom shouted and started to chase the babies. Both went right between his legs.  
  
Wanda appeared and said, "I'll help you!"  
  
"Where's Quicksilver!" Lance shouted as he joined them.  
  
"Glued to the ceiling." Wanda replied.  
  
"Get me down! Get me down!!!" Pietro shouted from the ceiling of the house where Wanda had superglued him.  
  
"How do these kids move so fast?" Tom shouted.  
  
"Tom, you'll get used to this, trust me." Wanda replied.  
  
"Watch out!" Tom shouted as Barney's whiffle bat hit Lance on the head.  
  
"Avalanche down!" Wanda shouted as she chased Claudius down.  
  
"Guys! Not like that!" Althea shouted, "Come here you."  
  
Althea carried Claudius who gurgled happily. "Now where's Barney?"  
  
"Here he is honey!" Toad shouted, carrying Barney.  
  
"OK, that takes care of all of us." Tom asked, "But I can't help but think that we're missing something."  
  
"AAAGGGGGHHHH!!! Save me!" came the scream from up stairs.  
  
"Help! AGH! Help!" came another scream.  
  
"HELP US! HELP US!!!!" came another scream.  
  
"Jay and Silent Bob." Tom said, "It's coming from the Triplets' room."  
  
"Oh no. Stay here you guys, I'll handle this." Althea said.  
  
"Is this place always like this?" Tom asked Wanda.  
  
"You have no idea?" 


	4. Saving Jay and Silent Bob

Saving Jay and Silent Bob  
  
Disclaimer: "Shipwreck! Don't you go through my locker for that disclaimer, you'll get lost in the clutter!" -SR.  
  
Many thanks to you all for reviewing my fanfic, Red Witch would you mind directing other Misfits addicts to this fic for a temporary fix.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"HELP! AIEEE!!!"  
  
"MOMMY!!!"  
  
Screams came echoing from the Triplets' room as Althea picked the lock and opened the door with Tom behind her followed by Wanda.  
  
"You don't want to know what goes on up their, trust me." Wanda said, "Jay and Silent Bob are probably scarred for life.  
  
"What did they do? Torture them? Hang them by their jock straps?" Tom said.  
  
"Worse, Wanda, Tom, get them down from there." Althea replied.  
  
"Thank God!" Jay said. His long, shoulder length blonde hair was tied in dreadlocks with pink highlights.  
  
"Nice new look Jay." Tom replied.  
  
"Just get me down from here!" Jay shouted, he was strapped to a gurney suspended from the ceiling.  
  
Silent Bob was hanging upside down from the ceiling with his shoes off. A large ostrich feather next to his body was a sign of what had been happening to him.  
  
"Fat boy over here was trying to use the Force to remove these straps. He thinks he's a Jedi." Jay said.  
  
"This is a nice look for you." Tom replied.  
  
"Very funny Tom." Jay said.  
  
As soon as he was freed Silent Bob raced for the bathroom to wash the makeup out of his face. Jay followed him to try to wash out the pink highlights and pulled of the pink tutu Trinity made him wear and threw on his cargo shorts.  
  
"Uh hello? Get me down from here!!!" Pietro shouted.  
  
"Dude, what's that white haired fellow doing glued to the ceiling?" Jay said.  
  
"Wanda put him up there." Tom replied frankly.  
  
As Shipwreck, Roadblock, Low Light, and Cover Girl drove the jeep up the driveway they could see the upstairs window from the babies' room was broken and the two British twins, Freddy and Ferdy were tangled in the thorny rose bushes.  
  
"YEOW! OW! OW! OW!" They danced around shouting in agony.  
  
"OK, what happened here?" Cover Girl asked.  
  
"Those children are crazier than we are!" Ferdy shouted, flapping his arms in excitement.  
  
Rupert and Ravnos stepped out of their vehicle. "What happened now?" Rupert groaned.  
  
Shipwreck opened the door and saw the house was an even greater mess than it had been before they left. There was still four inches of water on the floor, a smashed plate floated in the water. Xi and Toad were reviving Lance and El Cabong on the couch and Althea was using her powers to send the water out into the lawn. Tom, Wanda and Fred were picking up debris on the floor.  
  
"Uh hello? Could someone please get me down?" Pietro shouted from the ceiling.  
  
Jay and Silent Bob were walking downstairs. "Cover Girl do you have any peroxide?" Jay asked, "These pink highlights won't come out of my hair."  
  
"I must say, Jay, that's a good look for you." Ravnos remarked.  
  
"Why am I starting to think that I should have gone to that Royal Air Force training school as an instructor instead? But no I had to come here because I was promised I could still fly." Rupert replied.  
  
"Get me down! Get me down!" Pietro shouted.  
  
"Well at least the babies are asleep." Roadblock shouted from upstairs.  
  
"Let me guess, the Trinity got to you." Shipwreck asked Jay and Silent Bob.  
  
"Yeah." They replied.  
  
"Barney must've clobbered El Cabong." Shipwreck concluded. El Cabong's Zorro hat was off his head and so was his mask, in their place was an ice pack, "But you'd think Lance would learn to avoid Barney's whiffle bat."  
  
"Ravnos, could you get Pietro off that ceiling. He's starting to get pathetic." Shipwreck replied.  
  
"Right." The South African replied and tossed a weighted rope over one of the support beams and climbed it to the roof and started to use his combat knife to hack at the clue that was holding Pietro on the ceiling.  
  
"Jay, Silent Bob, move a little to the right." Rupert said.  
  
Below him Jay and Silent Bob had the trampoline with the intent to break Pietro's fall. "Are you sure you guys know what you're doing?" Pietro asked.  
  
"Trust me, I've directed cargo helicopter landings for years before I became a helicopter pilot, this is a snap." Rupert said.  
  
"Are you done yet?" Pietro asked.  
  
"One more strand and you'll be free." Ravnos said as he leaned off the support beam and Pietro was freed with a snap.  
  
At that moment General Hawk stood in the doorway of the house, "How's everything going?" he asked.  
  
At that moment Pietro fell down from the ceiling with a loud, "AAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!"  
  
He hit the trampoline, bounced off it and landed right in Hawk's arms. "Pretty bouncy sir." Pietro said.  
  
"Carry on." Hawk said, pleased that the house was still standing.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
What lies in store for our intrepid crew. Find out with chapter four and let me know who your favorite Reinforcement (the eight new recruits that are helping the adults protect the Misfits) is. 


End file.
